Horrible Xmas music I asked them to turn off like I did the horrid pop country bullshit they had on last time I was there. Overheard someone on the staff state “Oh yeah, that guy is a pain in the ass”. Fantastic tasting Enchiladas. Hair in my guacamole. After food coma, spent 3 hours sweating, feeling like I had a cinder block in my stomach followed by intense vomiting.. -Nathan Espen
I began this culinary journey after a night of playing and listening to noise/experimental music at Trophy’s in Austin, Texas. “Deep Summer Noise”. This experience left me ravenously hungry. I took my shit home and set out for Kirby Lane South. An old favorite in a new location. As soon as I walked in I knew something was amiss. After a minute of scanning the menu I figured it out. The music was horrible and it sounded like shit. Some sing along pop metal caterwauling bullshit. The cute girl with Red hair behind the counter seemed to be delighted with her choice of tunes and I asked her if the music was coming from the kitchen and she informed me that it was playing throughput the “store”. I was appalled. I left a dollar on the counter for my water and walked out without saying a word. I may never go back there again as long as I live.
I trundled North on Lamar about two miles, over the bridge to 24 diner. I have mixed feelings about this place but since I hadn’t been here in a while I bellied up to the bar and looked over the menu. Everything looks good. I decided to go with the French Toast Platter. Comfort food I desperately needed as it is easy to see this fucking, stupid ass world is coming apart at the seams. I moved to a window seat and silently played Angry Birds while listening to the banal conversation of what I can only assume were college students while I patiently waited for my meal.
My French Toast Platter arrived in an acceptable amount of time. It looked delicious. It was delicious. Hands down the best French Toast Platter I have ever eaten. I’m going to take this opportunity to mention that I am 43 fucking years old. THICK fucking toast with fluffy cream cheese and Blueberries. FLUFFY fucking scrambled eggs. BAD ASS in house made veggie sausage. I SHIT YOU NOT! I feel so comfortable now. Perhaps there is hope for humanity, after all. -Nathan Espen
24 Diner (600 N Lamar Blvd # G, W 6th St, Austin)
Happy New Year, Austin! Our engineers have been hard at work crunching data just for this special edition of theWeekly Yelp. In it, we reveal of the top eleven Austin eateries of 2011. Grab a glass, pour some Champagne, and let’s toast to local love.
Franklin BBQ takes home the prize pig! Apurva N ”has traveled far in search of the perfect barbecue. That search is over.” Coming in a meaty second is Hopdoddy Burger Bar. “Where’s the beef? It’s here!” Andrew H cries with joy, “Generous patties, homemade buns, a full bar, Maine Root sodas, and fries that will haunt your dreams.” Stroll on down to Barley Swine. Robert U notes, “The second you walk out of the door you’re thinking of your next experience in this sublime food nirvana.” Pencil us in!
Start with dessert first at Gourdough’s. Michael M warns, “Gym time will not assuage the calorie debacle that ensues when you sidle up to the ordering window. Get the donut with bacon.” Now swing back to swanky with Uchi. “Amazing flavors, all in balance. Visually pleasing and texturally interesting at every turn;” Mike L can’t get enough. And of course, ” eating a lazy Sunday brunch and sipping on spicy Bloody Marys and Mimosas” is just what the doctor ordered. The moment Gabriel H walks into Moonshine Patio Bar and Grill he gasps, “They have pretty much every dish imaginable, from fruit bowls to omelettery and even cornflake encrusted chicken fried steak.” Hot damn!
Mary V proposes to Coreanos… the ”devil that has stolen”her ”epicure’s heart. One day” they’ll “get married and make many food babies together.” Carrie A lauds South Congress Cafe as “a winner all around. Very unassuming with a great upscale vibe, plenty of vegetarian options, and a fantastic selection of microbrews!” Former New Yorker Beth K is a “complete pizza snob” and vows that Home Slice in the only place for her. The pizza is fabulous… “thin tasty crust, great sauce, melty cheese, and fresh toppings.” And finally, Jonathan G rhapsodizes about the “balance between comfort and experimentation” at Uchiko: “They make the unfamiliar feel like home.” What are we waiting for? Let’s go out!